Of being a sensitive and meditation

Have you experienced pain of the soul so strong that it turns to physical pain severe enough that you can’t bear it? It literally feels like your heart is breaking into a million pieces.  Have you witnessed a sad event – not affecting you physically or personally at all – but feeling the pain of those whom it does affect? Do you hurt when you see cruelty to animals, innocents, those who can’t defend themselves? Do the sickness, pain and loss of those near and dear to you kill you a little more every time it happens? Do you lie awake at night going over bad events of your day and feeling like you should have done more, should have been able to help more? Blaming yourself for something totally out of your control? Then you may be a sensitive, an empath – and welcome to the club. It is hard. It would be so much easier to just turn away and carry on with a selfish egotistical life.

Sensitives feel more, we are more in tune to negative vibrations in the air and we can sometimes tell what is going to happen. We don’t like crowds, we don’t like noise – we can’t stand egotistical selfish people, we crave peace and quiet – yes, crave. If I don’t have a quiet home to come back to my whole existence is negative. We need that breathing out and connecting with calm all the time. It is no wonder that I enjoy the ocean so much, the gentle sounds of the waves, the pebble music, the amazing sea life, the hypnotic motion of the tides, the white noise I can’t sleep without.

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It is no wonder then that the damage to the ocean or creatures of the environment sends me to a dangerous place, a place where I need to seek revenge on those who harm innocent beings. Being a sensitive does not mean that you are totally helpless, totally harmless, totally without bad feelings. Like some idiot carnivore said the other day on a vegan discussion when I got really mad – ‘I thought you vegans and vegetarians were all peace loving?’ Yes, vegans and vegetarians are usually nicer more peaceful people because we don’t want to see animals killed and tortured – but we will protect those beings with a passion second to none. I can personally easily rip out the throats of those people murdering animals. Those people hurting and killing for fun. Easily. Just give me the opportunity.

The problem is, whereas killing animals is sometimes legal, killing people is not. A quandary. So what do I do with all these hateful feelings inside of me? All these feelings of revenge towards the killers of all that is beautiful, free and innocent? When negative feelings overwhelm me I meditate. I find a quiet spot, a quiet time and let my mind and soul heal. Just breathe deeply and chase out those hurtful things one by one. Let the ones you could not change go. Listen to my wind chimes, my relaxing music, put my crystals around me, light my candles, my incense… send out healing vibes…As someone once told me, you can’t save the world. You can try though…but at an enormous personal cost. Ulcers, migraines, loss of personal relationships. But yet, I will rather live with myself, with my own conscience being clean than with unfeeling individuals. Some things are right – some things are wrong.

Sometimes the universe assists me in my spiritual quests for justice and some of the perpetrators end up harmed by the very acts they are committing.Then I smile and say ‘Thanks Karma.’ Yeah, Karma is a bitch, but a fair bitch. You cut down trees, beautiful indigenous trees which created a habitat for all sorts of beings, you may find yourself succumbing to alcohol poisoning. You keep on killing wildlife because you can and enjoy it, you may find yourself without an eye due to some strange freak accident. You kill your pet because of some transgression and you die in a vehicular ‘accident’ after a national outrage. You continuously disregard animal lives and you may find yourself choking to death on a piece of meat. I call that divine justice. Yes, it really happened. They all did. And I, the sensitive, will rejoice because the world will become a little less bad.

What you sow, you will reap. That is a fact. If you keep on throwing negative deeds into the universe they will bounce back to you sooner or later. You may think you got away with it but wait…Stop now, ask the universe for forgiveness and right the wrongs. It is never too late to change.

Peace, love and light – but stop doing wrong. Be accountable, be respectful of all living entities.

Inia

 

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